The Being of Infinite Knowledge

I personally tend to have rather harsh critical views on humanity. I prefer to do as little dealing with people as possible whenever I can. Some people will agree that the overall intelligence of people is slightly less than the average on an IQ chart. I consider myself to be smarter than the average person, without being over-confident or stuck up. I can identify and accept when someone is just plain better or smarter than me in something.

The thing that really gets to me is an idiot that thinks they are “The Being of Infinite Knowledge”. This is the sarcastic term I have come up with to describe this kind of person. Unfortunately, there are far too many Beings of Infinite Knowledge in this world.

How to spot a Being of Infinite Knowledge:

1) Your average Being of Infinite Knowledge will always wear an undeserved sense of self-confidence and satisfaction.  Either 24/7 or when you have brought up the subject of their ‘expertise’.

2) The biggest flaw in this type of human is that everything they say is with an I’m-too-good-for-you attitude. Talking to them without recognizing their personality will often make you feel stupid, boring, and lesser of a person than them (which is pretty damn low). All-in-all, they might as well be insulting you and your extended family.

3) When disagreed with or questioned, a Being of Infinite Knowledge will immediately be severely insulted. They will either blast more false and fabricated facts at you or start to cuss violently. This is best seen in the replies to anyone on YouTube who has expressed in any way that Gears of War or Halo 3 is not the best game ever in the world forever and shall ever remain. (Though a good trait of the Being of Infinite Knowledge, this is also a better example of a fanboy, which I shall discuss some other time.)

Now, if I was to go my entire life never having confronted a Being of Infinite Knowledge, I would probably be fine. Even if I was fully aware of their existence, I would probably still be fine with them. It is much like being mauled by a bear with lasers. If you were to hear about people being mauled by bears with lasers every now and then, but never have been mauled by a bear with lasers yourself, you would probably not care much about the problem. However, the one faithful day you get mauled by a bear with lasers, you will probably feel a burning hate for all bears with lasers the rest of your life. Same concept applies here.

The real dilemma is that I regretfully have been faced with many a Being of Infinite Knowledge over my life. I have concluded that unless you live in a remote island with no internet access or any interactions with the human populous, you will come across a Being of Infinite Knowledge sooner or later.

So what problem do I have with a Being of Infinite Knowledge? Well, to be honest, I really shouldn’t care. But, recalling my negative attitude towards humanity, I would prefer for all the idiots in the world to be aware of their true status and perhaps by some odd miracle to change their lifestyle completely.

So what are some good examples of a Being of Infinite Knowledge? I happen to have more than one experience with these kinds of people and am here to share them with you.

Over the latest summer, Some of my friends and I were taking some summer classes. We were in a math class together with about 18 people. Unfortunately, one of these people happened to be, yes, a Being of Infinite Knowledge. Now, this was a fairly advanced math class we were taking. This Being of Infinite Knowledge was no doubt good at math. He did better than me in the class from a grade standpoint, and I can honestly say he was a more skilled mathematician than me. Still yet, I can’t help but look at him as more of a human calculator than an intelligent problem-solving human.

One day my friends and I were having a casual talk about recent technology. At one point, the Being of Infinite Knowledge decided to butt in and add some input. Normally I would be fine with this, as I respect and like to hear a wide variety of opinions on any matter. The problem arose in what this individual started to say. To paraphrase of his rambling, he was bragging about a breathtaking new device that had just come out. This device had awesome technology inside that scanned the surrounding airwaves for IP addresses of routers that were broadcasting wireless internet, known as WiFi. It could get into any router’s network , even if it was encrypted, because of the IP scanning technology that he apparently understood to be just short of magic.

Of all the stupid moronic things I hear pretty much on a daily basis, technology is a hot spot for me. Mostly because I am someone who actually knows a thing or two about technology. I can set up a local network, I built my own computer, and I have completed an ROP Computer Technician Training class. Even so, I know my limits and recognize a more skilled tech person than I.

I held back all urge to go on an insane rant on the spot and I’m sure this individual would have kept his mouth shut for a long time afterwards. However, I calmly and politely told him why his claims were like having my eardrums eaten away by chromic acid.

(Warning, the following paragraphs may involve me spontaneously cussing or acting in an unprofessional manner. It happens when I get on a roll.)

What I would have told him in a more critical manner is something more like the following.
First off, the kind of device you are referencing is a simple WiFi finder, Hotspot finder, or whatever you may wish to call it. Not only are these devices only around $30 at your average tech store, they have been around pretty much as long as WiFi itself has. They are not new, and they will never be new for the rest of existence! As clichéd as it sounds, get with the fucking times! It’s one thing to see a new innovative device a month after is comes out, but come on. The original WiFi was invented in 1991! Not only that, but these devices are built into every single unit of WiFi hardware ever made! How else does it find and connect to the network?
That was not the worst of it though. It is not so bad to be out of date like that. In fact, I wouldn’t expect most people to know that you can buy one of these devices in the first place, but if you are going to brag about it and give your dense scientific explanation, get your damn facts straight! In fact, that dense scientific explanation is the real number for me.

A WiFi scanner CANNOT, WILL NOT, and NEVER WILL work by scanning directly for an IP address. For those of you who do not know, An Internet Protocol address is the number given to any and every device in a network for identification and proper information delivery. An IP address exists only within a network and that network alone. A device connected to two networks would even have two different IP addresses, one per network. How the hell doe the WiFi scanner know what the IP address is if it isn’t part of the network? Even if it by some miracle knew, that does not in the slightest give it direct access to that network! The device can tell you what that network is named, and if it is encrypted or not simply by the fact that that is all broadcasted by the server freely so it is physically possible to find and connect.

On top of all that, this miracle technology can actually violate and illegally breach an encrypted network? Um, NO, it cannot! Not only would the FCC hunt down and kill the company developing this product for the public, It just doesn’t work that way. To crack a WEP key takes some major and time-consuming steps. First, packets of information being transmitted between devices on the network must be intercepted, captured, raped, and stored away. This takes time, and will not even work if the network is not being used at the time! After hundreds, thousands, or even millions of packets are captured, the devise must then sit down and slowly crack the key like it is working in Room 40. A properly encrypted network can take days of continuous computer calculating to crack! You would NOT be able to crack it on the spot with a handheld device!

This kind of thing gets to me every time. It’s almost like people inadvertently sniff me out just to say something like this and piss me off. If you do not know what the hell you are talking about, just shut up. If you conclude ideas that involve complex information to know by yourself, they are more than likely dead wrong. I remember being a little kid and thinking I knew everything. We were all like that at one point or another. All I can do is look back at my young self and recall what in idiot I could be. We all can all recall our know-it-all child self deep in the catacombs of out memory. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of this. I’m sorry to say, but these people are known to me today as the poor ignorant being of Infinite Knowledge.