Okay, first post since <last post date here>! I would justify it with an excuse, but I get the feeling nobody cares or is returning from a pervious visit ever.

On to the post:

In another language because the english poster looks boring

I recall about a year ago seeing a short untelling preview for Avatar in the movie theater or somewhere and thinking: “WANT TO SEE”

Before that, however, I remember seeing another preview in the theaters for a movie called “Battle for Terra” This was a nicely done indie film all in cartoonish kind of 3D environments. Seeing that, I thought: “WANT TO SEE”

After some time, since as in indie film they had no advertising budget, I hadn’t seen Battle for Terra and found out I had missed it in theaters if it was even there. I got the movie and watched that and it was basically a watered down version of Avatar.

Mainly, humans go looking for refuge on another planet and find one full of aliens and try to take over, resulting in the militaristic humans being defeated by the primitive alien race. Now, I wanted to see this movie because it was the first movie (remember, Avatar hadn’t come out yet) I had heard of that blatantly exposed the truth of mankind and how we have a tendency to come in and take stuff and be outright douchebags.

I liked this out-of-the-box concept and enjoyed the movie. Nothing else about it was super impressive, but nothing was bad either. Definitely worth seeing, I would still say.

When the ads for Avatar started picking up and I finally knew the premise, I realized this was going to be an extremely fucking awesome version of Battle for Terra. Had Avatar not been 10 years in the making, I could have accused James Cameron of ripping off Battle for Terra. Turns out it was just a story begging to be made, and the indie developers got finished first.

Pictured: Simulated underexaggerated aftermath of the motorcycle stunt

Finally Avatar came out and I for one was ready to take a death-defying helmetless motorcycle ride across an industrial explosives and trains factory to see it. Since I do in fact own a helmet and had no motorcycle or industrial factories nearby, I saw it about a week after it came out. This was difficult because I had to duck and roll every second of the day to avoid the reviews being fired in every direction. The idea was I did not want to go in there with any influences or preconceptions about the movie. The only thing I managed to hear about it was that it set a new standard for CGI and effects, but I could have guessed that, seeing as how the ten years of making were due to 1990’s computers being the equivalent of modern PDA’s you order from the back of a cereal box. And Cameron would have none of that. They in fact use a massive section of their budget developing new film technology and paying people by the hour to sit there all day and check if the world had invented good computers yet.

All in all, I loved Avatar more than I shall love my first born child. Not just for the effects, but the story, the plot, the characters, the messages, the minimal usage of made up BS for how science works, and everything else. In fact the CGI ended up being a minor high point compared to the rest of the movie.

Now that all of my done-before praise is out of the way, I shall get to what I was thinking about when I started this post.

"Avatar sucks!"

Obviously there are many people who think Avatar was crap. The vast majority of these people just do the opposite of what societysays because they are badass rebels who don’t play by society’s rules*. For the sake of not upsetting people, I’ll say now that I respect their opinions*.

There are a select few who actually hate the movie for far more in depth and well thought out reasons*. Many of these select few have no lives and decided to post their findings on the internet. Having no life myself, I am going to address these ‘reasons’ and respond to them.

*…lol

1) Avatar vs. The Gays – as seen on http://stopavatarmovie.blogspot.com/

Now, before I get called a gay basher and an insensitive asshole, I will say now that I have absolutely no issue with gay people. I’m a huge supporter of Courage Campaign and some other gay rights activist groups. One of my best friends since I was in middle school is bisexual, I have several more good friends who are gay or lesbian, and damnit, I will support lesbian porn until death.

You look at this frame and tell me he's not attempting a nipple-grab there

But there is a point where gay rights protests stop being helpful and enter into the flat out ‘wtf’ range. The problem apparently is that

there were no hints of a single gay or lesbian alien in the whole movie. Masses of activists protested the release of the movie. Like full-blown signs and marching and what have you. This one I heard about before the movie even came out, so how these people even knew there were no gay aliens is beyond me. The plain fact is that this is not a movie made to play for or against gay rights. I recall watching Toy Story, which is essentially about a race of toys who are fighting for survival. Kind of.

Not once do I recall a protest complaining there were no gay toys**, and yet it is the same scenario. There was total straight action going on between Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, between Bo Peep and Woody, yet not once did Buzz take a grab at Woody. How dare Pixar be so insensitive!

But honestly, it kind of baffles me why they decided to protest the movie just for the no gays thing. I mean, if they somehow implied gays were bad, then sure, that would be a reason for protest. But they never brought up gays because that’s just not what the movie is about. For all we know, there could be plenty of gays in the thousands of Na’vi that were not the main characters. It’s just irrational to be pissed at the movie for not showing gays.

**Moments after writing the end of this sentence, I realized how hilariously misleading ‘gay toys’ sounds. Think about it.

2) Avatar vs. Religion – as seen on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/12/vatican-slams-avatar-prom_n_419949.html

This one is sitting in very testy waters, and to put it short: The Vatican is pissed off at Avatar for implying that worshiping the forest is better than Catholicism, or really any other major religion.

I enjoy religious debates, but when I went to see the movie, religion was not even something I was thinking about. When they bring up Eywa, what is essentially the ‘spirit’ of the forest, my first thought was ‘oh, here we go with the made up religious crap’. What I found though, was that there was not really a deity in the movie at all. The forest was composed of a physical neurological network that made it into a living thing in the same way a human brain makes a person a living thing. Let me put this as sensitively as possible, and in all caps:

THERE IS ACTUAL PHYSCAL EVIDENCE GIVING THE NA’VI REASON TO WORSHIP THE FOREST. NO SUCH THING DOES OR EVER HAS EXISTED FOR GOD.

Now that 60% of you are pissed at me and planning a DDoS attack on my WebLog, I shall continue.

In Pandora’s case, it is not even a god they are worshiping. It’s not even neo-paganism; a word being thrown around very frantically by the Vatican. It is a working biological being. Everything is connected by science, not spirits. The concept is actually scientifically plausible with a stretch. If you can’t see that after having it spelled out for you, then I hate you, get off my WebLog.

3) Avatar on Sexism – as seen on http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/willheaven/100020706/avatar-james-cameron-deserves-the-worst-lefty-award-2009/

And now for a happy quote:

“The male characters’ avatars are the strongest, most powerful versions of their current selves, but they share their respective human’s facial structure, general build, and age… But then look at the avatar for Weaver’s Dr. Augustine: When we’re introduced to her, the slinky alien is wearing a belly-baring Stanford T-Shirt and sporting beaded dreadlocks, a marked difference from her usual lab coat and fine lines. So Augustine transforms from a 60-year-old scientist into a college-age Outward Bound instructor?… Is Cameron hinting that in their most idealized versions, women want to have the wisdom of a long life, but the body of a 20-year-old?”

I’m actually quoting a quote that was quoted by the above link on what some writer named Emma Rosenblum said. I have a feeling I should know who she is.

Now, this obviously comes from someone who forms their own point and attaches themselves to it with a nail gun, expecting it to never be dislodged. The whole avatar clone thing idea in the movie comes from the concept that they could age the avatar to whatever age they wanted. Sounds easy enough relative to the amazing technology they have otherwise created. If you are going to be creating a body to be running around ‘the most hostile environment known to man’***, does it not make some damn sense to make it the age where muscles and mind are at the prime of their life? Seriously, with giant scary-as-shit 6 legged cat things as big as a rhino running around, it might be a better investment to make an avatar that doesn’t have arthritis. And as far as the clothing goes, does it not occur to you that some college girls like to dress that way? Maybe our scientist misses dressing like then from back when she actually was 20 years old. Just because YOU don’t want to dress that way, doesn’t mean everyone else is being sexist for doing so.

If I may add a little subsection here, for the sake of not double posting a link, this article also complains that Cameron is smashing people with disabilities. They use the following quote to make their point:

“Commander Quaritch (leader of the mission) says to Jake, ‘you’re going to get your real legs back’…Yet this piece of dialogue overlooks a fact that’s glaringly obvious: Jake still has his legs! Yes, he has a disability, but what’s the problem with his legs and/or wheelchair? The commander is implying that there is something not just physically, but morally, wrong with Jake’s disabled legs and wheelchair use: it is unacceptable in the military for a soldier to be disabled and, moreover, to show it.”

As you seem to have pointed out yourself here, Jake still has legs. The reason the commander tells him he is going to get his real legs back is because they don’t fucking work at the moment. You may notice when someone’s beloved cat dies, they often say “I want Mittens back!” despite holding the dead cat in their arms at that very moment. Same concept here. When things don’t work, they may as well not be there in many circumstances.

That line still gets me though:

“The commander is implying that there is something not just physically, but morally, wrong with Jake’s disabled legs”

How? Jake makes it blatantly obvious he wants ‘his real legs back’. In fact the reason he starts running around like a crazed chinchilla when he first enters the avatar body is because he can use legs for the first time in however long. Obviously there is nothing morally wrong with being paraplegic, but you can’t deny that their legs don’t work. Now you are just being ignorant. Even IF the commander was implying what you claim here, you are forgetting he is the asshole of the movie and is supposed to be wrong.

***or something like that, I don’t remember the exact quote, deal with it.

4) Avatar on Racism – as seen on: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/willheaven/100020488/james-camerons-avatar-is-a-stylish-film-marred-by-its-racist-subtext/

Alright! Racism! So let’s sum this one up, because I had to read a few different articles to make sure these people were serious.

The Na’vi have a lot of things in common with tribe kind of societies on earth. Here is anther fabulous quote:

“They wear Maasai-style necklaces and beaded jewellery which Cameron has borrowed from tribal East Africa. Their long, dark hair is dreadlocked. Their clothes are apparently Amerindian. They are armed with bows and poisoned arrows, and wear facepaint into battle. The main Na’vi characters are voiced by four black actors, as well as one Cherokee. The evil humans, needless to say, are white, male and middle-aged.”

So, what the hell? First off, it makes sense that the aliens who live completely off nature and are so similar to humans would develop comparable survival techniques over time. If you want to be shallow about it, you could look at many pictures of different ‘tribes’ on earth who have been kept completely isolated from each other, and point out that they have very similar appearances.

And what of the black actors? I have a question! Who cares? I don’t watch a movie to point out the actors’ skin color. If they are good actors who fit the part, you hire them.

Finally, we address the last sentence there:

“The evil humans, needless to say, are white, male and middle-aged.”

Is this like, collectively/in general? Or are you talking literally? Because I would have to disagree on… all of that. The ages ranged from some soldiers who looked fresh out of college (plus 5 years of cryogenic sleep) to the apparently 60 year old scientist. Our current military discriminates against women in the military as it is, and for some reason you are complaining in the lack of women fighting on the nonexistent Pandora? And finally, all white?

Black people?? It can't be!

5) Avatar on Imperialism/Anti-militarism/Anti-Americanism – as seen on: http://www.tikkun.org/tikkundaily/2009/12/28/avatar-and-whiteness/

Fail. Seriously guys, if I may capslock again:

THIS IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY

The whole story revolved around humans being greedy imperialistic jerks. The mind set shown in the movie is exactly how many highly powered people function: Take what I want and rape all who oppose with lead. Since it was, after all, an AMERICAN film, it makes sense that the humans in question are AMERICAN. If the military in the movie had been Asian people, you can bet these critics would be bitching just as loud over racism. There is simply no way to win these days because everyone thinks they have to point out people being racist when they did not even intend it.  Really guys, it’s like calling someone a racist for saying ‘cracker’ while talking about a Ritz product. There are races and genders in the world that have indisputable differences and you can deal with that. There is no need to be accusing Cameron of these social crimes because you have nothing better to bitch about.

Drugs are something that I have objections to on every level.

First off, they are bad for you. I know all the stoners have pathetic excuses regarding pot not being bad for you. I will tell you here and now, you are dead wrong. Medical research from every professional source I’ve looked at confirms the truth. Not only do you increase your likelihood for things like long-term memory, respiratory, and psychological issues, but you increase your chances of getting cancer! I’m well aware that being young to some people is about fun and carefree nature, but you obviously need to pound some god damn sense into your head if you think smoking pot and doing drugs is just a passing phase. I want you to go image search neck cancer, find me in real life, look me in the eye, and say “I don’t care, I’ll do pot anyways.”

This is a poster I made and handed out at school today. Every claim is a direct quote or fact from a professional website.

Made in honor of 4/20

But sometimes it’s just not enough to present facts like this. Let me tell you the story that made me decide to never even try drugs. In middle school I met one of my best friends. For our 3 years in middle school we always hung out together and simply had fun. High school came along, and we were still best friends. This Friend of mine was one of the smartest people I know, and one of the few people I could have an intelligent conversation with in this world. Towards the end of our freshman year, my friend had tried pot. I was a bit disappointed, sure, but it was not a big deal, so I just looked the other way.

I was assured it was a one time thing, and that I shouldn’t be worried. But wouldn’t you know it, a few months later he decided to go get high again. This time I was annoyed, and voiced my concern, which seemed to pass right over his head. The next time I went to his house for a little social get-together with some other friends, his girlfriend and I were suddenly pleading him to not break out the alcohol that was planned to be passed around. We managed to avoid that crisis, but we were not so lucky the next time. My friend liked having little parties and get-togethers, which always ended up with everyone splitting into two groups. Me and the other ‘pure’ kids would stay inside and have fun without drugs and alcohol, while the rest would go outside and get stoned and drunk. The parties got bigger and more drug-based until I got fed up. I started avoiding my best friend all together. I never stayed at the parties for more than a few hours to talk with people, and as soon as I caught a glimpse of drugs or booze, I was making up an excuse to get out of there.

I no longer was hanging out with my friend. I rarely saw him at school, let alone anywhere else, and the next time I had contact with him was over the phone in the middle of summer break. He was calling to ask if I had someone’s number or something like that, so while I was at it I went ahead and asked how his drug life was going. his response:

“I’m doing pretty good now, I’ve only been high 5 days a week for the past few weeks.”

It took every shred of decency in me to not throw my phone against the wall. 2 days out of every 7 sober? And that was ‘pretty good’?

This went on, and even after almost getting caught with shrooms, and actually getting caught drunk with a near fatal blood-alcohol level by the cops, it went on.

It didn’t matter what kind of close calls he had, what I said, what I thought, He was addicted. I don’t ever want to hear anyone tell me you don’t get addicted to pot. I watched it happen, and I’ll tell you right now, I never want to see it again. I spent nights crying over loosing a best friend to drugs. When I hear druggies and alcoholics ranting on about how innocent, unharmful, or fun drugs are, I feel like throwing them to the ground onto a steel spike and leaving them there.

What does it take? Our government obviously doesn’t give a shit if people get high and has proved to be no help in any recent years. Sometimes I feel like moving to a country in Asia or Europe where you can get life sentences for drugs. All I can do Is hope that anything I do, from handing out fliers to posting on blogs, to actually talking to people I care about, that I can slowly halt drug abuse. It doesn’t just kill you, It doesn’t just screw up your life, it stabs people who care about you in the heart. I have to live with the image of my best friend turning into a drug addict, and there is nothing I will ever be able to do forget that.

Anyone who takes note of this post, do me a favor. Talk to those you know who take drugs. Tell them about your concerns about their problem. Show some people the flier above. I’ll print some out and send them to you for free if you will honestly hand them out to people. I had some people specifically ask me for extra copies of the flier to take home, presumably to show to family and friends. But most importantly, make sure you don’t fall into that dark abyss that is drug addiction. If you already have and want to get out, my wishes go to you to get clean again and live the rest of your life knowing the obstacle you overcame.

Today a good friend of mine showed me a paper he wrote entitled “America, the Terrorist”. Though this may seem a bit extreme, when it comes right down to it the title is pinpoint accurate.

America, you have a serious problem.

More serious than your addiction to oil.

Racism is alive and all-too well.

In case you are unaware, the recent McCain and Palin speeches featured some strong-minded right-wing citizens who spoke out very frighteningly against Senator Obama. When the Republican candidates talked about him, their audience called out “traitor” and “terrorist”. Not to mention the fact that the McCain campaign has resumed referring to him as “Barack Hussein Obama”, trying to tie him to the Middle East, make him out as a not-to-be-trusted unknown, and incite fear in the American populace. This is not the campaign McCain pledged to run back in primary season.

Fear politics have played a part in presidential campaigns since before the Lincoln Administration, but have become the center point since the Bush I campaign; specifically his campaign manager Lee Atwater. He felt so bad about trashing Michael Dukakis; he invited him to his deathbed to apologize. This style of campaigning has become known as “Rovian Politics”, after Karl Rove (Bush II’s 2000 campaign manager). But in this election, they have some frightening implications not seen since the 60’s.

Neither McCain nor Palin have denounced the comments “traitor” and “terrorist”, which doesn’t get them any points. However, some of the right-wing extremists have made threats against Senator Obama, even going so far as to suggest he should be killed. For years, Republicans have decided what constituted patriotism and what didn’t, and anyone who disagreed with them was “un-American”. Patriotism is having pride in your country. Patriotism is not calling for a political opponent to be assassinated. Senator Obama has given so many people hope for a better tomorrow after the eight disastrous years of Bush, who the public agrees has been the worst President in our great nation’s history.

The McCain campaign’s fear-mongering is far from what this country needs right now. There have been plots for the Senator’s assassination since mid-August, and spreading fear among those who already don’t like or trust Senator Obama is not acceptable. You don’t have to be a Republican, Democrat, or Independent to know that this message of fear given to right-wing extremists cannot be good for anyone in the current world situation.

Senator Obama is the JFK of our time. He is a historic candidate with FDR’s New Deal kinds of solutions for the 21^st century. The real traitors are those who call him a traitor; the real terrorists are the ones who hope for or plot for his murder. And it will be a dark day for the world, for America, and for You if any of these American Terrorists succeed at their intent.

—Alex Tjeerdema, America, the Terrorist

From the observation made throughout my life, I have always noted that most people cannot take harsh facts without getting enraged or upset.  I’m well aware how many people would be offended by this literature, and I can tell each and every one of those people to suck it up and face the facts of life. We cannot afford another Bush in office. how anyone cannot see that I simply do not know.

I could not have put the message of this writing better myself

I resorted to one of the last things I EVER try in this kind of situation. I restored to tech support. Almost every time I have ever contacted tech support I have been severely insulted. Therefore, I avoid such contact as much as possible. I decided to go with the instant-messenger chat help like I do when possible.

This time, I decided I’ll have fun instead of being insulted; and I did. This is the log of what was said.

I’m green and HP is blue. The beginning of the chat got cut off, but basically I have just informed her of the broken link.

Andrew Horobin: its where my problem occurs
Andre: (1) Click on Download only, when the download window appears it prompts Save, Run or Cancel.
Andre: (2) Click on Save and Save the file onto the Desktop of the computer.
Andrew Horobin: if i click the download button I’m put into a blank File Transfer Protocol Directory
Andrew Horobin: Index of ftp://ftp.hp.com/pub/softlib/software7/COL15859/mp-42045-1/AiO_071_000_201_000_CDA_Default-Full_Network_AmericasEuro1.exe/
Andre: Did you click on Save or Run option once the file transfer window appears?
Andrew Horobin: there is no file dialog box
Andrew Horobin: it does straight to the FTP directory
Andrew Horobin: It doesn’t even ask if I want to save or run :[
Andre: Andrew, I would like to inform you that, the same weblink to download the HP software is working at our end.
Andrew Horobin: hmmmm
Andre: I suggest you to delete the temporary files on the computer then start the download again on the computer/
Andrew Horobin: is it a firefox problem maybe?
Andre: Yes, it could be.
Andre: I suggest you to open the Internet explorer browser and try to download the HP software.
Andrew Horobin: ok hold on I’ll see
Andrew Horobin: still no
Andrew Horobin: wait
Andrew Horobin: if its downloading via FTP my ISP is probably blocking it
Andrew Horobin: Do you have an HTTP link?
Andrew Horobin: or some kind of mirror
Andre: Please provide me a moment, Andrew.
Andrew Horobin: k
Andre: Here is another weblink:
Andre: *****

http://ftp.hp.com/pub/softlib/software7/COL15859/mp-42045-1/AiO_071_000_201_000_CDA_Default-Full_Network_AmericasEuro1.exe

******
Andre: Just copy and paste the entire link onto the address bar of your browser and press Enter.
Andrew Horobin: awsm it works
Andre: Did you save the file onto desktop, Andrew?
Andrew Horobin: no, but its going to my applications folder
Andrew Horobin: all the same, it worked
Andre: Once the download is complete, it will prompt to RUN or CANCEL, please click on RUN to start the installation on the computer.
Andrew Horobin: i know
Andrew Horobin: mmmk, thx for all your help
Andre: Please disable the antivirus and firewall before you start the installation.
Andre: Also do connect the USB cable only when the software prompts to connect it while the installation.
Andrew Horobin: no usb, i’m wifi
Andrew Horobin: and i shall keep my firewall enabled and tell it to permit your software
Andrew Horobin: alright, thanks
Andre: Is there anything else that I can assist you with?
Andrew Horobin: um
Andrew Horobin: do you leik mudkipz?
Andre: Andrew, could you please re-phrase the statement in English?
Andrew Horobin: mudkipz. i herd you leik them
Andre: Andrew, we are not supposed to discuss any personel interaction over the support. However, if you have any more concerns related to the All-In-One you may go ahead.
Andrew Horobin: nope, that’s it then
Andre: Have a nice time..
Andre: May all the happiness always knock your doors.
Andrew Horobin: you too
Andre: Thank you for contacting HP Total Care Real-Time chat support. If you need further assistance, please contact us again at: http://www.hp.com/support/chatChat support is available 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.
Andre: Bye and Takecare.

Don’t even ask what “May all the happiness always knock your doors” means. I’m assuming she decided to play along.

Recently, however, I spotted something in the store that I hadn’t seen for a long time. It looked like a regular old Coca-Cola fridge pack, but upon closer inspection there was a faint beige tint splattered about the box. It was…could it be…yes! Vanilla coke! I have no idea what happened to vanilla coke, but I remember when it

3rd best soda ever

came about and suddenly disappeared. Needles to say, I got a pack and went home to have some for the first time in approximately two years. I won’t begin on how good it tasted.

Anyways, On my trip today, I decided to pick up a few more packs of Vanilla Coke. I saw a sign above the packs that said “2 for $7″. This day just seemed to be getting better and better. I picked up the two and pelted it to the counter. The lady at the counter scanned my stuff, but somehow completely missed the second two foot long bright red pack of soda. After I payed she suddenly tells me she forgot one. So, she just scans the second one and expects me to pay for it jsut like that. Excuse me, but I beleive there was a sale for me. If I can get two packs for $7, then damnit, give me the two packs for $7. I reminded her of the sale going on so I could get my sale deal. Easy enough? NO. She started rambling on about something stupid like that if I buy 4 I get a 5th free. Umm, no, I think I know what I saw. But wouldn’t you know it, she decided to argue with me that I was wrong in every conceiveable way.

Okay! I suppose I could be lying about a fucking sale that is going to register up if you had scanned it properly. If she had done it right the first damn time, it would show up on the register that there was indeed, a sale on Vanilla Coke fridge packs. Therefore, I would be absolutely and positively an idiot to lie that there was a sale. I decided to not care and left before I got pissed off at her.

I’m not really a penny-pinching money freak or anything, and I really didn’t care about the $2 or whatever I would have saved, but it’s the fact that she wants to convince me that I’m a moron who sees imaginary rainbows and sales tags all over the place jsut becasue she scanned my items wrong. How about you respect the people who hand you your salary every day? Is it SO hard to just take a word for it, or possibly redo your mistake? Guess not.

I am happy to say, however, the Vanilla Coke made up for it.

The thing that really gets to me is an idiot that thinks they are “The Being of Infinite Knowledge”. This is the sarcastic term I have come up with to describe this kind of person. Unfortunately, there are far too many Beings of Infinite Knowledge in this world.

How to spot a Being of Infinite Knowledge:

1) Your average Being of Infinite Knowledge will always wear an undeserved sense of self-confidence and satisfaction.  Either 24/7 or when you have brought up the subject of their ‘expertise’.

2) The biggest flaw in this type of human is that everything they say is with an I’m-too-good-for-you attitude. Talking to them without recognizing their personality will often make you feel stupid, boring, and lesser of a person than them (which is pretty damn low). All-in-all, they might as well be insulting you and your extended family.

3) When disagreed with or questioned, a Being of Infinite Knowledge will immediately be severely insulted. They will either blast more false and fabricated facts at you or start to cuss violently. This is best seen in the replies to anyone on YouTube who has expressed in any way that Gears of War or Halo 3 is not the best game ever in the world forever and shall ever remain. (Though a good trait of the Being of Infinite Knowledge, this is also a better example of a fanboy, which I shall discuss some other time.)

Now, if I was to go my entire life never having confronted a Being of Infinite Knowledge, I would probably be fine. Even if I was fully aware of their existence, I would probably still be fine with them. It is much like being mauled by a bear with lasers. If you were to hear about people being mauled by bears with lasers every now and then, but never have been mauled by a bear with lasers yourself, you would probably not care much about the problem. However, the one faithful day you get mauled by a bear with lasers, you will probably feel a burning hate for all bears with lasers the rest of your life. Same concept applies here.

The real dilemma is that I regretfully have been faced with many a Being of Infinite Knowledge over my life. I have concluded that unless you live in a remote island with no internet access or any interactions with the human populous, you will come across a Being of Infinite Knowledge sooner or later.

So what problem do I have with a Being of Infinite Knowledge? Well, to be honest, I really shouldn’t care. But, recalling my negative attitude towards humanity, I would prefer for all the idiots in the world to be aware of their true status and perhaps by some odd miracle to change their lifestyle completely.

So what are some good examples of a Being of Infinite Knowledge? I happen to have more than one experience with these kinds of people and am here to share them with you.

Over the latest summer, Some of my friends and I were taking some summer classes. We were in a math class together with about 18 people. Unfortunately, one of these people happened to be, yes, a Being of Infinite Knowledge. Now, this was a fairly advanced math class we were taking. This Being of Infinite Knowledge was no doubt good at math. He did better than me in the class from a grade standpoint, and I can honestly say he was a more skilled mathematician than me. Still yet, I can’t help but look at him as more of a human calculator than an intelligent problem-solving human.

One day my friends and I were having a casual talk about recent technology. At one point, the Being of Infinite Knowledge decided to butt in and add some input. Normally I would be fine with this, as I respect and like to hear a wide variety of opinions on any matter. The problem arose in what this individual started to say. To paraphrase of his rambling, he was bragging about a breathtaking new device that had just come out. This device had awesome technology inside that scanned the surrounding airwaves for IP addresses of routers that were broadcasting wireless internet, known as WiFi. It could get into any router’s network , even if it was encrypted, because of the IP scanning technology that he apparently understood to be just short of magic.

Of all the stupid moronic things I hear pretty much on a daily basis, technology is a hot spot for me. Mostly because I am someone who actually knows a thing or two about technology. I can set up a local network, I built my own computer, and I have completed an ROP Computer Technician Training class. Even so, I know my limits and recognize a more skilled tech person than I.

I held back all urge to go on an insane rant on the spot and I’m sure this individual would have kept his mouth shut for a long time afterwards. However, I calmly and politely told him why his claims were like having my eardrums eaten away by chromic acid.

(Warning, the following paragraphs may involve me spontaneously cussing or acting in an unprofessional manner. It happens when I get on a roll.)

What I would have told him in a more critical manner is something more like the following.
First off, the kind of device you are referencing is a simple WiFi finder, Hotspot finder, or whatever you may wish to call it. Not only are these devices only around $30 at your average tech store, they have been around pretty much as long as WiFi itself has. They are not new, and they will never be new for the rest of existence! As clichéd as it sounds, get with the fucking times! It’s one thing to see a new innovative device a month after is comes out, but come on. The original WiFi was invented in 1991! Not only that, but these devices are built into every single unit of WiFi hardware ever made! How else does it find and connect to the network?
That was not the worst of it though. It is not so bad to be out of date like that. In fact, I wouldn’t expect most people to know that you can buy one of these devices in the first place, but if you are going to brag about it and give your dense scientific explanation, get your damn facts straight! In fact, that dense scientific explanation is the real number for me.

A WiFi scanner CANNOT, WILL NOT, and NEVER WILL work by scanning directly for an IP address. For those of you who do not know, An Internet Protocol address is the number given to any and every device in a network for identification and proper information delivery. An IP address exists only within a network and that network alone. A device connected to two networks would even have two different IP addresses, one per network. How the hell doe the WiFi scanner know what the IP address is if it isn’t part of the network? Even if it by some miracle knew, that does not in the slightest give it direct access to that network! The device can tell you what that network is named, and if it is encrypted or not simply by the fact that that is all broadcasted by the server freely so it is physically possible to find and connect.

On top of all that, this miracle technology can actually violate and illegally breach an encrypted network? Um, NO, it cannot! Not only would the FCC hunt down and kill the company developing this product for the public, It just doesn’t work that way. To crack a WEP key takes some major and time-consuming steps. First, packets of information being transmitted between devices on the network must be intercepted, captured, raped, and stored away. This takes time, and will not even work if the network is not being used at the time! After hundreds, thousands, or even millions of packets are captured, the devise must then sit down and slowly crack the key like it is working in Room 40. A properly encrypted network can take days of continuous computer calculating to crack! You would NOT be able to crack it on the spot with a handheld device!

This kind of thing gets to me every time. It’s almost like people inadvertently sniff me out just to say something like this and piss me off. If you do not know what the hell you are talking about, just shut up. If you conclude ideas that involve complex information to know by yourself, they are more than likely dead wrong. I remember being a little kid and thinking I knew everything. We were all like that at one point or another. All I can do is look back at my young self and recall what in idiot I could be. We all can all recall our know-it-all child self deep in the catacombs of out memory. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of this. I’m sorry to say, but these people are known to me today as the poor ignorant being of Infinite Knowledge.

Question Time!

But pudiNgs ar MAed buy teH Jell-O cumPeny, so iznT tHats y it iz naimd Jell-O???

Answer Time!

Well, yes, I suppose that is the obvious reason, but it still doesn’t settle it for me. Let’s look at what is probably the best soda ever made—Mountain Dew. Some of you may know that Mountain Dew is made by Pepsi, the same people who make Pepsi. For those of you who don’t know this, Mountain Dew is made by Pepsi, the same people who make Pepsi. Despite this fact, never ever have I seen the bright red and blue Pepsi logo across the side of a bottle of Mountain Dew. If you look closely though, you can see in small barely distinguishable letters somewhere near the bottom of the back side of the label: “PepsiCo, Inc.”

So that leaves two problems with Jell-O’s approach here. First off, why blatantize the fact that you are buying a Jell-O brand product? Not only do I not care, but if I picked up the product to put in my shopping cart in a manner that lets me get a good look at the Jell-O logo, I’m already at a no-return point in my product selection and it will be going in the shopping cart hell or high water. it was simply a waste of red ink to print that fancy red Jell-O logo there in the first place. Now I’m wondering how much it costs them a year to buy all that red ink to put on that box. Color ink isn’t cheap; anyone with a printer knows.

And the second issue: If they are going to be advertising anything, why aren’t they advertising Kraft Foods? Now we see that Kraft has actually made a series of branches and sub-companies that control their products. The President appears to be Kraft alone, who dictates a crapload of brands, some of which are then commanding even smaller sub-brands like Jell-O Gelatin and Jell-O Pudding. If anything, Kraft needs to be advertising Kraft alone in big bulgy letters, not Jell-O. They would be able to spread the knowledge of everything in their brand army rather than the single Jell-O brand alone. In my unprofessional opinion, this would be a much better sales tactic.

So next time you see a Kraft Foods Jell-O brand Pudding product, spare a moment to think about it. Are you buying pudding or gelatin? Are you buying a Kraft or Jell-O product?

Thank you Kraft, Jell-O, or whoever you are for over-complicating such a wondrous treat.

The other day I was about to leave the house when this story appeared on CNN. The body of a Bigfoot species, found and documented.

Of all the myths, there are some that I believe and some I don’t. For example, the Sucuriju—a huge snake species that lives in the amazon supposedly around 40 meters long—is something I believe in. It’s not documented, but does how does that mean it does not exist?

Bigfoot, however, happened to be one of those things that I never felt a strong belief in. It’s not that it seemed unrealistic or anything, but it was just not something I was really interested in. This story, however, has gotten my attention. It seems like a valid claim, and I’m now an advocate of Bigfoot’s existence. Still, that little sliver of skepticism is with me. There have been so many false claims by people that Bigfoot exists that I can’t help but wonder if this is no different.

What do you think? Do you believe in Bigfoot? Do you believe this story? Do you believe in anything of this sort?

Hope you like what I will soon have here, and remember: If you don’t care, Don’t comment :D